What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
