How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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