Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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