How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize