Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
