I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize