Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
