i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
