Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
