I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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