can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
