Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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