i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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