I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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