So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
