my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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