i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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