I think I died a long time ago.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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