I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize