Sry I called you an 8
they need to just BURY HIM!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize