just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
