Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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