I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize