your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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