haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
