my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
