My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
