While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
