You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
