Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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