i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
