My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
