I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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