Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
