too bad you live with your parents still
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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