I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
