youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
