There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
