Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
