I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
