Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
