wakey wakey hands off snakey
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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