wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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