hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
