he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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