she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
