If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Panties = found
Randomize
