Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.

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(513): View more from Ohio

4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

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(714): View more from California

i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...

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(830): View more from Texas

So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now

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