somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
