i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
