sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
