My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
