She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
