i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
