I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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