She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
