Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Randomize
