Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
