the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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