just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
