Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
