I wanna bring you to show and tell
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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