At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
