So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
