no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize