Three words: puerto rican gang bang
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
