you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
