so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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