You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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