Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i already hear my dad disowning me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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