am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Randomize