so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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