and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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