shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
